Oh No You Didn’t Birthday

I just turned 30. Here are 10 reasons why I shouldn’t actually be 30 yet:

1. I’m too short.
2. I still laugh super hard at farts.
3. I’m scared of the dark, so I sleep with my TV on.
4. I eat cool-whip, candy, and chips/dip for breakfast – regularly.
5. I still need to text my mom when I’m sick so she can re-assure me that I’m not going to die.
6. My favorite movies and music involve Disney.
7. I couldn’t tell you if I’m saving correctly for retirement, but I can name every character on SpongeBob SquarePants.
8. A small part of me still thinks there’s a chance for me and Justin Timberlake.
9. I’ll buy something simply because it’s sparkly.
10. I’m super jealous of kids who still get to go trick or treating.

At the same time, in other ways, it’s completely correct that I’m a 30 year old. Here are 10 reasons why:

1. I’m too tired to stay awake past 10 anymore (ok – 9:30).
2. I’ve been involved in long, serious conversations about kitchen appliances.
3. I pay attention to the weather report in the morning rather than “winging it” like I used to.
4. I have no more student loan debt because I have been out of college for that long now.
5. I recently went on a business trip because I know how important “face time” is.
6. I make sure to eat at least some fruits or veggies every day because I’d like to prevent high cholesterol and diabetes.
7. For a time, I had noisy neighbors who shouted a lot when they played video games. I often thought “those stupid kids” to myself.
8. I vacuum twice a week because I love the look of clean carpet.
9. I have 1 strand of white hair.
10. Today when I vote, I take at least a little time to read what each person stands for, rather than choosing who’s simply better looking.

To prove to you that I’m not kidding about the above, I noticed this perfect example of my old vs. young struggle. The below is, no joke, 2 items I have marked as “favorite” on my Etsy page – they are literally right next to each other:


If that doesn’t summarize me, I don’t know what does.


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