This Forbes article was, no joke, the first result in Google when I typed in wanting to be a writer:
Why You Shouldn’t be a Writer: http://www.forbes.com/sites/susannahbreslin/2012/06/12/why-you-shouldnt-be-a-writer/
Did you read it? Cause I waited for you. If you didn’t, that’s ok (more reading is asking too much which I get – you’re just nice for being here in the first place). Let me give you the gist with some quotes:
“I’m going to be a writer, you decide one day, sitting on the crapper, considering your life on the way to work…”
“…or your high school English teacher suggested you had a certain aptitude for putting words together on a page…”
“But here’s the question you should be asking yourself: Can I write? Not literally. Not physically. Not technically. Anyone can do that. Can you make the words sing?”
“Most people cannot write well. This is a fact. This is something that is true. This is a hard thing to accept. Most people cannot write well, and that includes you…”
That last one sounded like it could have come from a drunken Dr. Seuss. What’s even more surprising is the comments on this article – the majority of people actually agreed with the author! This all struck me as asinine for some reason, so I crafted this response:
Whoa! Do you have a camera on me in my bathroom? How do you know me this intimately! I WAS pondering my life while on the toilet! I DID have an English teacher who thought I had a talent for writing. Well egg on my face! He was a fool wasn’t he – I see that now. Probably another wanna be writer too!
Even after I finished this article (that came up first in the search when I typed in “I want to write”) I thought surely, the comments would add some meaning to this. We nobody’s would band together and say, “Hey! We can still make it!” But me (a ding-dong) see loads of other people who agree with you because they to, have that something special. No nobody’s in this bunch!
But what if I still want to write (like a moron)? What are my other options? Do I sit at an Applebee’s or something, order some chicken fingers and wait? Wait for a big-shot editor to walk by, have our eyes meet, and have us both instantaneously realize that I was clearly born to write and they were clearly born to find me? Would they then, grab me by my shoulders and shout, “You SON OF A BITCH! This is where you’ve been hiding!?! Come with me now – we shall create “words that sing” together!” All this happening while music from the Lion King starts playing in the background from when Simba finally becomes King right?
I suppose that’s stupid though (like myself). I get it now – just don’t even bother. I trust you Forbes because after all, you are smarter and more attractive than me – a successful type that has the free time to give good advice to the idiots below you. From now on, if I feel some need to write, it shall be in shame. So I’d like to thank you Forbes, and end by saying… LET THE SHAME BEGIN!!!